Stuck In The In Between

Do you ever feel like you are in a holding pattern, stuck somewhere in the in between. I feel like I have been stuck here for quite sometime. Waiting on God can be so tiring and to be honest, I am starting to lose my patience. I often wake up hoping that today will be the day that I will become unstuck, that things will finally change. If you read my blog, please pray for me. :)

Conversations with my Kiddos

I have a student whose name is Ian. Ian is 7...this was our conversation...it takes place in a 3 min block of time.

(Side note: When ever my students walk into my classroom I always ask them the same question...What's new. Some tell me all sorts of funny things others are like...I dunno. This is Ian's answer to my question.)

Me: Hi Ian...whats new?
Ian: I am growing my hair out, all my friends have long hair, even my dad does for an old guy
Me: How old is your dad (Pretty much I am trying to figure out what is old, for all I know his dad is 30)
Ian: 53
Me: Your dad and my dad are about the same age
Ian: My aunt became a grandma at 50...that's young to be a grandma
Me: My aunt became a grandma at 26 (She married an old guy with grown kids...they are still married)
Ian: 26 is to young to be married
Me: Ian...I'm glad you think that!
Ian: (With a look of totally seriousness)...Are you dating right now?

And then I burst into laughter

This is a video from our mini recital...Ian playing Star Wars

Good Friday

He was perfect, a completely innocent man
Without one blemish on his soul
He was a King, he was THE King
Yet they did not see

They beat Him
They mocked Him
They spit on Him
They crucified Him

He was perfect, a completely innocent man
He could have stopped it
He could have changed it
And He chose not too

I beat Him
I mocked Him
I spit on Him
I crucified Him

He was perfect, a completely innocent man
He sacrificed his life for me, for you, for us
He took all our iniquities upon him
He died...

So that we might live

Seriously...Did they even look at my resume?

I have my resume posted on Monster, so it is searchable by employers, just in case my dream job is out there and they happen to want to offer it to me. Today, this was waiting for me in my inbox...ARE YOU KIDDING ME!

Hi Kristin,

I noticed your background and thought you may be interested in finding out more about our new job opening, which is pasted below for your review.

The position is for a Java Swing developer in Annapolis, MD.

The job details:

Java Swing developer
Location: Annapolis, MD
Salary Range: $75,000 - $150,000

Northern Virginia based privately held company specializes in solutions for the Intelligence Community. The management team has over 60 years serving the Intelligence Community, DoD, Civilian, and Commercial clients. Their Customer Centric approach to problem solving ensures that they will always take the right tack using the best combination of resources to meet your mission needs. The company delivers mission-critical solutions to our customers in four practice areas.

Java Swing developer, Jave, J2ee, swing, spring, hibernate, OO design patterns, SOA, ts/ sci, tssci, top secret, full scope poly, full-scope poly, tssbi, data virtualization

If you are a great Java Swing developer with great experience, please read on!

What you need:

- 3+ years of Java development
- Familiarity and experience with SwinG
- STRONG oo background
- Active Security Clearance - ts/ sci full scope poly

What you'll be doing:

- Build and enhance advanced applications in the Cyber Security space
- 3- tier development
- 100% full life cycle

What's in it for you:

- Excellent Benefits
- Potential for career advancement
- Flex hours

Good luck in your searches,

Heather

Did they even look at my resume? My background is in events, marketing, and music. I don't even know what they are talking about...what the heck is SwinG?

And So It Continues...

So once again, I did not get the job. It went to another who is older with more experience. This has been the trend...I am just too young with not enough experience. Funny thing is, I am not that young anymore. I may sometimes be mistaken for a high schooler (unfortunately this happens a lot), I may even have parents who question whether I am old enough to teach their children (again, this happens a lot), but the truth is I am inching ever closer to my late twenties. I know, I know, when I am in my forties I will love that fact that I look young, but right now I am just frustrated! You know it is a bad sign when the person you are interviewing with comments on how young you look...ugh! As for the experience thing, how in the world am I ever going to get it if I can't even get a job that will afford me the opportunity to build my skills?

So due to the wonderful economic crisis that we currently find this great country in, I am changing my career goals. I am going back to school! :) I am excited about the prospect of sitting in class again, writing papers, and taking tests. I know...I am weird, but I have always loved school. My ultimate goal has always been to teach music at a collegiate level, and in order to do that I need to obtain my masters degree and then start on the fun road to PHD...but for now Masters here I come! I am meeting with one of my favorite college professors next week to discuss grad schools and find out a little more information about the competing music programs in the area. He has his PHD, so he knows a little about the whole academic field. I am also starting up voice lessons again. I will have to audition to get in, and I am so excited about singing classical music again!

God has taken me on quite a journey these past few months. I pray that he will guide my steps and lead me in his path. Because, quite honestly, I have no idea which way to go.

Anger

an⋅ger

   /ˈæŋgər/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [ang-ger] Show IPA –noun

1.	a strong feeling of displeasure and belligerence aroused by a wrong; wrath; ire.

Do you see it as a positive, or a negative, a right, or a wrong. Anger is a feeling that for most of my life I have sought to deny, to omit, to pretend does not exist. I am now at 26 learning that it is OK, to get angry. Once a week I am meeting with my friend Michelle and we are currently in the process of studying the life of David.

He really is an interesting man, a man of passion, of strength, of sin, of struggle, and yet he is still called a man after God's own heart. David can get really angry, like scary angry, and yet God still loves him. Jesus while in the temple, became so angry that they were selling wares in his fathers house that he turned the tables over. God gets angry, and yet when I feel anger rising up, I stuff it and pretend that everything is fine, for anger to me has been wrong. If you are wondering why I am writing this, it is because right now, I am REALLY ANGRY...and it feels liberating. :)

Athens Here I Come?

Kelsey needs an intern for the summer in Greece. She wants me. I need to spend some serious time in prayer about this one. If I decide to go, then I need to start raising support ASAP. It all ultimately depends on graduate school apps, and the job at Biola that I applied for. She sent me this email yesterday...

"what fabulous experience for you to do an international internship with a human rights
foundation. An exciting role in starting a new organization. Helping to plan an international conference on human trafficking; networking and coordinating between existing organizations for feedback about what to do for the conference. An option to design, coordinate, and direct some kind of music project for the African girls who are trafficked to Greece. Conducting research for the foundation. Fabulous references from your Lydia Today staff for a future job in music, human rights, event planning, international relations, blah blah. You know we are serious about this. Many people think it is a great idea for you. :) You would just need to start soon in raising funds."

Right now it is a pipe dream, but for a girl who has never been out of the country, it is a dream come true. Considering that my job is a nightmare, and I am barely making ends meet, why not leave California and spend the summer teaching music in another county right? I really need prayer on this one, that God makes it crystal clear whether I am to stay in California or quit my job and move to Greece for the summer.

If God wants me there, I will go...