And So It Continues...

So once again, I did not get the job. It went to another who is older with more experience. This has been the trend...I am just too young with not enough experience. Funny thing is, I am not that young anymore. I may sometimes be mistaken for a high schooler (unfortunately this happens a lot), I may even have parents who question whether I am old enough to teach their children (again, this happens a lot), but the truth is I am inching ever closer to my late twenties. I know, I know, when I am in my forties I will love that fact that I look young, but right now I am just frustrated! You know it is a bad sign when the person you are interviewing with comments on how young you look...ugh! As for the experience thing, how in the world am I ever going to get it if I can't even get a job that will afford me the opportunity to build my skills?

So due to the wonderful economic crisis that we currently find this great country in, I am changing my career goals. I am going back to school! :) I am excited about the prospect of sitting in class again, writing papers, and taking tests. I know...I am weird, but I have always loved school. My ultimate goal has always been to teach music at a collegiate level, and in order to do that I need to obtain my masters degree and then start on the fun road to PHD...but for now Masters here I come! I am meeting with one of my favorite college professors next week to discuss grad schools and find out a little more information about the competing music programs in the area. He has his PHD, so he knows a little about the whole academic field. I am also starting up voice lessons again. I will have to audition to get in, and I am so excited about singing classical music again!

God has taken me on quite a journey these past few months. I pray that he will guide my steps and lead me in his path. Because, quite honestly, I have no idea which way to go.

Anger

an⋅ger

   /ˈæŋgər/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [ang-ger] Show IPA –noun

1.	a strong feeling of displeasure and belligerence aroused by a wrong; wrath; ire.

Do you see it as a positive, or a negative, a right, or a wrong. Anger is a feeling that for most of my life I have sought to deny, to omit, to pretend does not exist. I am now at 26 learning that it is OK, to get angry. Once a week I am meeting with my friend Michelle and we are currently in the process of studying the life of David.

He really is an interesting man, a man of passion, of strength, of sin, of struggle, and yet he is still called a man after God's own heart. David can get really angry, like scary angry, and yet God still loves him. Jesus while in the temple, became so angry that they were selling wares in his fathers house that he turned the tables over. God gets angry, and yet when I feel anger rising up, I stuff it and pretend that everything is fine, for anger to me has been wrong. If you are wondering why I am writing this, it is because right now, I am REALLY ANGRY...and it feels liberating. :)

Athens Here I Come?

Kelsey needs an intern for the summer in Greece. She wants me. I need to spend some serious time in prayer about this one. If I decide to go, then I need to start raising support ASAP. It all ultimately depends on graduate school apps, and the job at Biola that I applied for. She sent me this email yesterday...

"what fabulous experience for you to do an international internship with a human rights
foundation. An exciting role in starting a new organization. Helping to plan an international conference on human trafficking; networking and coordinating between existing organizations for feedback about what to do for the conference. An option to design, coordinate, and direct some kind of music project for the African girls who are trafficked to Greece. Conducting research for the foundation. Fabulous references from your Lydia Today staff for a future job in music, human rights, event planning, international relations, blah blah. You know we are serious about this. Many people think it is a great idea for you. :) You would just need to start soon in raising funds."

Right now it is a pipe dream, but for a girl who has never been out of the country, it is a dream come true. Considering that my job is a nightmare, and I am barely making ends meet, why not leave California and spend the summer teaching music in another county right? I really need prayer on this one, that God makes it crystal clear whether I am to stay in California or quit my job and move to Greece for the summer.

If God wants me there, I will go...

A Glimps Into My World

As many of you know, I am currently renting a room. My room looks out onto a church parking lot...great view, I know ;). Anyway, every Wednesday this man comes with his long flowing locks and brightly colored shirts and spends his mornings rollerskating around the parking lot. Maybe one day I will break out my roller blades from high school and join him. :)

For Kelsey

Kelsey wanted me to post this on my blog awhile ago...Here you go!

My Imaginary Band

1. Go to "wikipedia." Hit “random”
or click http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
The first random wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.

2. Go to "Random quotations"
or click http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3
The last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.

3. Go to flickr and click on “explore the last seven days”
or click http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days
Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4. Use photoshop, picassa, or similar to put it all together.

5. Post it with this text in the "caption" and TAG the friends you want to join in. (Whatever. Mine is above. And yes, it said "woman's" with an A.)

Goodbye Michelle

I hope you all enjoyed reading about my many adventures this last weekend. Hopefully more adventures will be coming shortly. :)

Michelle Does California...Day 4

Saturday was Michelle's last full day here before she had to fly back to Seattle, so I had to make sure she got the full Southern California tour. That morning we got up really early and headed into downtown Los Angeles to go to the Garment District and look for some good deals. Every Saturday the merchants have a street fair where all of their clothes are REALLY cheap (like $5 for jeans). It was quite the cultural experience. I had never been and I am pretty sure that I was the only white girl and by far the only blond there. I LOVED IT! Everyone was speaking Spanish and Korean and the air was filled with the smell of wonderful Mexican food.

After we spent some time in Downtown, we headed north up to The Getty Museum. For those of you who have not been I highly recommend it. For one its free (well, besides parking which is only $10). And Secondly it is absolutely beautiful. It was SO cold that day, well cold for LA, but sunny. We toured the whole museum and enjoyed the view.

After the Getty we drove all the way back to Orange County in order to partake in the magical experience that is Medieval Times! My friend Jackie and her fiance Ian came with us and we had the best time. You can never go wrong with grown men in tights playing make believe for all to see.

So one of the best things about Medieval Times is that you are not allowed to use silverware! We got to eat giant pieces of chicken with our bare hands as well as ribs and potatoes. The chicken was about the size of my head! Michelle is a vegetarian and luckily they have a vegetarian option which was pretty good too. But lets be honest, nothing beats the giant piece of chicken. :0)

All four of us enjoying our trip back in time...Hazah!

Michelle Does California...Day 3

Day 3...and what a day it was. I know some of you might be a little shocked by this next post, but honestly, I haven't lost my mind...I promise! So for awhile now I have wanted to get a tattoo. Again I know how this sounds, like some sort of rebellious act, I promise you it is not that at all. So when I found out that Michelle was for sure coming down to visit me, I knew I had to seize the moment and just do it, after all she is the only one I would ever want to do this with. I mean we have been friends for 19 years...wow that makes me feel old. We have had a lot of firsts, the first time I drove solo, I drove to her house, we graduated 6th, 8th, and 12th grade together. We have seen each other through a lot. So that afternoon we went to OC Tattoo.

Michelle got three small symbols on her left wrist...a cross (for her faith), the roman numeral V (for the 5 members of her family), and a star (she needed one more to balance it out ;) )

I got a treble cleff with Psalm 33:3-4 written underneath it on the upper back part of my neck. Now let me explain myself before you all start freaking out. For those of you who know me well, you know that I have had a pretty rough year. This rough year has led me to do a lot of praying and more importantly a lot of listening to what God wants to teach me through these many trials. As many of you know, I have my bachelors degree in music, what many of you don't know is that I chose music over journalism (I was a double major) after a pretty awesome encounter with God.

I was in church, feeling so much inner turmoil because I knew I needed to drop one of my majors, otherwise I was going to be in school for about 8 years. I had no idea which one to drop, journalism at the time was practical, and my parents were strong advocates of that, while music was a risk. This moment in church was the first time that I distinctly heard God's voice and he said..."Kristin, trust me with your music". That day I came home and wrote my first song, funny thing is, I had been trying to write for years and couldn't, the minutes I released control and had faith in God and his calling on my life it came so naturally, as if God spoke directly through me in song. It was so special.

While at APU I went full throttle with my music, I honed my craft and wrote a lot of songs. And then I graduated. Not only did i get a degree upon completion, but also a massive amount of fear, binding fear. I stopped doing music, I stopped writing, I stopped singing, I stopped playing the piano, I hid everything that I wrote in a notebook and tucked it away, basically I stopped trusting God completely. Instead I put my faith and trust in myself and what was safe and easy. I got a job in advertising, it was a cool job, I worked on entertainment accounts like CBS and Showtime. Cool parties, cool people, awesome job...I hated it, every minute of it. I felt like a part of my soul was dying, and I dint know why.

So I quit and got a job teaching music, I started playing the piano again, but I still didn't sing, I didn't write, I kept that notebook locked up. A few months back I was praying and asking God to pretty much change my life, because I know that I am not where I am supposed to be. He showed my that I have been Jonah for the past 3 years, running as hard as I can from anything that he has called me to do. RUNNING. And more importantly that not only have I not trusted Him with my music, but I have not been trusting Him with my life, instead I have been trusting myself...no wonder I am so stressed out all the time. :)

In the Old Testament when God would show himself to his people they would build an altar to remind them of what God had done for them. The first altar Abraham built was an altar that resulted from an encounter with God Genesis 12:7, “Then the Lord appeared to Abram and said, ‘To your descendants I will give this land.’ And there he built an altar to the Lord, who had appeared to him.” Well, this tattoo is my alter. It is my constant reminder that I have made a decision to not only trust Him, but to believe Him as well, with all of me, to "trust him with my music".

Psalm 33:3-4 "Sing to Him a new song; play skillfully and shout for joy. For the word of the Lord is right and true; he is faithful in all he does."

And what is it that you do after you get tattoos...Well of course you get Jamba Juice and thin mint girl scout cookies. After that we went and checked out Balboa Island, which is SO cute. That was my first time there, and I will definitely go back again soon. It is only 20 minutes from where I live. So fun!

I know this is really LONG post...so thanks for reading! :)

Inked

Michelle Does California...Day 2

Thursday was the first full day that Michelle had here. I had to work most of the day, so she got to spend the morning sleeping in. During my lunch break I picked her up and dropped her off at the mall, where we ate at Olive Garden and Michelle got to pose with the lion head. That is our high school mascot, hence the cheerleader pose she struck. That night I promised Christina that I would make cupcakes and 7 layer bars for her church bake sale, so we spent the evening baking while watching The Office and 30 Rock. Not the most exciting day, but we had fun catching up and having a chill day. We really needed it considering what we were about to the the next day...

She Came...She Went...Michelle Does California..Day 1

Michelle has left the building...As of 2pm this afternoon Michelle got on Alaska flight 505 and left beautiful sunny Southern California where she had the time of her life and returned to Snowy Seattle Washington. We packed so much stuff into 4 days that instead of writing a massive post, I will be posting one a day for 4 days (I put the posts on a timer, so make sure to check back each day for a new installment of Michelle does California, trust me you don't want to miss it...We had many a fabulous adventures). Anyway this pictures was taken right after I picked her up from the airport, time 10:15pm...Day one. We jammed out to old school pop music from high school on the drive home and spent most of that night laughing and staying up way past my bedtime, especially considering that I had to teach my toddler classes early the next morning. It was so much fun to be roommates for a weekend! I miss her already...

Let the Adventures Begin

You know that friend who can pretty much read your mind, that friend where you know each other so well that you can finish each others sentences, that friend who you grew up with who knows your family almost better than you do...well that for me is Michelle. She is my bestest friend in the whole wide world and she is finally coming to visit me today!!! We have know each other since 1st grade. It is always fun when we spend time to together from Sunday funfest to Alias marathons while eating taco dip, and jamming out to old school pop music like NSYNC* and O-TOWN. I am looking forward to a weekend filled with laughter and many new memories. I could write a book about all the weird adventures that Michelle and I have had together, lets just say that there is never a dull moment when she is around. Always the strange and unusual takes place, as you can tell from the pictures above. Michelle, I am so excited that you are finally coming to visit me (The last time she was here was my junior year of college...5 years ago). Let the Adventures Begin!

Jackie's Getting Married!

Jackie is the first real friend I made at APU upon transferring there my sophomore year. We met within the first day of my being there, she was an alpha leader with my roommate and we just hit it off. I spent most of my time that first semester at Jackie's place which happened to be right across the street. :) She has been a wonderful friend these past 6 years.

Over Christmas she got engaged to her boyfriend and just this past weekend she asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding (if any of you are keeping track this will be wedding #6). I am so excited for her and am really looking forward to watching her and Ian get married. Congratulations Jackie!